Tools to Improve Each of Your Relationships
I am going to be really honest here I have worked through a lot of attachment issues to people, places and things that sucked my energy dry. I am still working through these needs and desires, but I can truthfully tell you that it is getting easier. Because of all the inner work that I have done most these attachments are completely gone.
Let me give you one example from my past:
I had a male friend that I was constantly chasing for attention, and when he did not supply the love I needed, I went into a downward spiral. My focus for a very long time was put on what he was not doing. I was desperate for him to show me love and I waited for him to call or respond to my emails and texts with a heart-breaking neediness like a victim who lost her power. I was more interested in his approval and thoughts about me than how I thought about myself.
As a result, I began to attract similar experiences of lack and negativity in other relationships in my life. My friends began to bail out on plans, and I had lack of communication and turmoil in a lot of personal relationships. What I really wanted was to experience love and connection, but I was so deeply engaged in what I was not getting that I created a vortex of negative energy that spiraled into all my personal relationships.
When he did not give the attention I desperately wanted, and all the other relationships in my life lacked true communication, I was fast to place the blame on their behaviors rather than look at my own. What I did not realize is that it was my own thoughts that made me feel bad, not the individual’s actions. When I chose to focus my attention on the lack of love, respect, and connection in my life, I got more of that everywhere I turned, which took me farther away from a state of wellbeing.
I stuck with this vibration for years, and the more I thought things such as “he doesn’t care,” “I’m not good enough,” “I am alone,” and “Everybody wants to fight with me,” the more the Universe would provide situations to prove my belief systems. I was attracting the negative vibration I wanted to get away from, which made me feel awful and disconnected.
This all changed when I learned to look at my own actions and not others. I also learned to align my vibration with Source so that I could create better relationships.
Here are tricks to healing some of the most critical and important relationships in your life:
1) Everyone is a reflection of you. Anyone you attract into your life is going to reflect a different aspect of yourself that either needs to be healed or become lit up.
2) There are three types of people that you will attract into your life. The first group is people that absolutely adore you or may worship you. The second is people who definitely do not. The third group is your tribe. These individuals will feel like family and will reflect back your similar interests. All of these groups of people are important for your soul’s growth – learn to pick them out and thank them in your heart for the role they play.
3) The most important thing we can do is monitor how we are feeling and catch our bad feelings before we get taken into a downward spiral of negativity. When I changed my thoughts about other people, and focused only on positive feelings, I began to change my world. I directed my attention back to myself and realized that it does not matter what anyone else thinks or does. The only thing that matters is how I feel.
4) Relationships and experiences should never be thought of us as “good” or as “bad” but as reflection of a part of yourself that can help to launch what you really want in life. You cannot run from one negative relationship hoping that the next one will be better because you will still be carrying the same thought forms throughout. True happiness only happens when you understand that you are responsible for your own feelings.
5) When you are feeling negative emotions toward anything, you are out of alignment. You cannot control the circumstances or the behaviors of other people. You can only control yourself, your personal belief systems and emotions.
6) One of the main reasons we become disconnected is because we constantly focus on what we do not want in relationships rather than what we do. You get what you think about whether you want it or not. Focus on what you want from your mother, daughter, or friend. Focus on all the good characteristics within the person rather than the ones that disgust you. When you are in alignment with those higher thoughts that is what you will create and attract.
7) If you want something give it. See what happens! Watch the video below for more info on this.
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In this video I explain three vital concepts to understand about relationships. Enjoy!
Tags: belonging, love, relationship
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